


Something to live for

by okdreaming



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 18:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2661611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okdreaming/pseuds/okdreaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Max dies, does Herc have anything left to live for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something to live for

Herc sat beside Max on the floor, the bulldog lay on one of Chuck's old shirts. He refused to sleep without that damned shirt. Herc tried but in the end he didn't have the heart to part the dog from it. With Chuck gone the only thing keeping him going was Max. If Chuck's old shirt kept Max going, who was he to try and stop him?

 

Herc, brushed his hand across Max's head, whispering to him -"It's ok boy," as he lay next to him, warm doggy breath brushing his skin. The vet told him Max wasn't suffering, just old age catching up with him, he'd offered to put Max down but Herc couldn't bring himself to let go.

 

Once Max went there would be no one left. He would be all alone, outliving everyone - Angela, Scott, his boy and now Max. Herc squeezed his eyes tightly closed, trying to stop the tears which threatened to fall.

 

He remembered the moment Max realised Chuck wasn't coming back. Max took to following him everywhere instead, almost as if he was afraid Herc would disappear too. Chance would be a fine thing, Herc thought bitterly. No, he was one of those lucky people who got live while everyone around him, everyone he loved died.

 

Not a day went by where Herc didn't wake up wishing he go back in time and give his worthless life to save theirs. They deserved to be alive, not him, never him.

 

He was a shit father anyway, emotionally stunted - unable to talk about all that stuff. He always ended up hurting those he... Ange probably would have left him anyway - if she'd lived. Chuck would have been a better person with Ange alive instead of him.

 

Max whimpered. Herc berated himself, Chuck - his - their dog was dying and all he could think about was how terrible his life was. Pathetic. A wet swipe across his hand caused him to look down. Max stared at him through half opened eyes.

 

"It's ok boy," he found a smile from somewhere. "I'm not going to do anything stupid." Max who'd pulled him back from the brink more than once this past year. "It's ok, boy. You can rest now." he paused. "Chuck will be waiting for you with a big juicy bone on the other side," he continued in a more cheerful tone. He hoped the dog wouldn't notice the forced cheer. "You rest now, boy." He lay next to him stroking and murmuring. Max took long shuddering breath, a sigh, then nothing.

 

Herc didn't think about moving for a long time. Even longer before he forced himself to check if ... Max's small lifeless body was almost cold.

 

He glanced at the clock - four am, 14th August. Chuck's birthday. Present for you son he whispered. Herc glanced down at Max one last time before pulling himself to his feet and walking stiffly over to his chest of drawers. He pulled open the middle draw. Reached under the neatly folded underwear and drew out a box.

 

He placed the box on top of the chest of drawers and pulled off the lid. Herc stared at the inside for a long moment before he pulled out a gun and loaded the bullets one by one before removing the safety. It wouldn't take long, one quick tap to the head. There was nothing left in this world for him. The war had taken his wife, his son, and now Max was gone. What was in this world for him now? He stared at the gun, heavy in his hand; he wasn't religious - not any more. He didn't believe he'd go to hell. Nothing could be worse than living with the knowledge you chose your son over your wife, that he hated you for it. Herc pressed the gun against his temple, so cold against his forehead. Cold - Max. He opened his eyes dropping the gun back in the drawer.

 

He'd been so wrapped up himself, he'd forgotten about Max. He couldn't leave the poor little guy just lying on Chuck’s shirt. Chuck would never forgive him - he would never forgive himself if he didn't do right by Max. Another thing not to forgive himself for.

 ***

He walked from the room, not noticing or acknowledging those who greeted him as he passed. Not long now, he thought. Just one last task and then he would be free, a calmness - a peace came over him. For the first time in a very long time he felt nothing. One more thing, then he could finally rest. Not really any place in this new world for an old war dog like him.

 

"Let me help you Marshall," Herc didn't quite hear the words but the hand on his arm caused him to stop and focus. Raleigh and Miss Mori - Mako, she asked him to call her even though she only ever called him Marshall. An improvement on Ranger Hansen he supposed. He finally realised they were waiting for a response. What did they say? Help? Help him?

"No thanks," Herc refused his voice sounded harsh to his own ears. "I," he paused. "I was...going to..." his legs started to give way.

"Come and have a drink, Marshall" Mako said, quietly. Softly spoken, quiet but determined. A lot of people learned the hard way that you didn't go up against Mako Mori. She took the box out of his unresisting hands and handed it to Raleigh. Gently but firmly she steered him to their room.

Once inside she sat him down, pushing a glass into his unresisting hand. She poured the dark brown liquid almost to the brim. His hands shook as he drew the glass up to his lips. Hissing at the burn of the alcohol. He didn't normally drink Scotch. Preferring beer, one of the few things he and Chuck could agree on. Chuck. He gulped down the scotch, the burn blocking out everything - the pain. He put the almost empty glass down.

 

Herc looked around the small room, gun metal grey like all Shatterdome rooms but Mako and Raleigh's seemed almost homely. Instead of a single the room housed a double from one of the VIP rooms. Pictures covered one wall, Herc pulled himself up, walking slowly - purposeful towards the pictures. They must be Raleigh's he realised after recognising a few of the people in them. Yancy Becket, he'd met him once in Manila. The two of them had bonded over being the wiser more responsible older brother.

"You met him?" Mako came up behind him. Herc turned and realised Raleigh had gone.

"We worked together in Manila, it was a three Jaeger drop. They were a pretty good team."

He allowed Mako to lead him away, back to the small table. She pressed a glass into his hand. She asked him questions and he answered them before he realised he was into his fifth story of the exploits of Chuck and Max. Those two had been inseparable, he instantly sobered. At least they were together now.

 

By time they put an unresisting Herc to bed it's almost eight am. Mako held his hand, brushing his hair until he fell asleep.

***

Mako moved over to where Raleigh was sitting by the table. "Max is gone," Raleigh informed her.

"I suspect as much."

"I found this," Raleigh laid a handgun on the small coffee table.

"Is it," Mako paused. "Was it loaded?"

"Yeah." He reached out and placed a hand on top of hers.

"We should - we need to help him."

"Yeah," Raleigh agreed. "It must be hard for him. The Kaiju, this war took everything he ever loved - now Max is gone."

"And for you?"

Raleigh knew what she meant. She'd seen his memories, relived them. "When Yancy - died I shattered, I wanted to die too. I can't imagine what Herc is going through; I don't know what it feels like to lose a kid." He pulled Mako to him. "I hope I - we never do. When Yancy," he paused. "When he was ripped away from me it was like ripping part of my soul. I don't know how I survived. I wished I was dead for a long time. If it was my kid? And nothing left to tie me to this world..." Raleigh trailed off.

"We should tell him," Mako said after a moment.

"Tell him about what?"

"The baby, he will want to know about his goddaughter."

"Daughter?" Raleigh asked, surprised because at their most recent scan the Sonographer explained that she would have a better idea of their baby's sex at the fifteen week scan.

"I know we will have a daughter." Mako said firmly. Raleigh privately doubted even nature would dare argue with Mako.


End file.
